Why I Chose To Be A Narcissist And You Should Too

There have been many bad connotations to narcissism and I wish to give new meaning to it – as a way of life, a way of functioning in society without legal consequences. I define narcissism as the trait that makes one care for oneself and put the priorities of theirs or whatever they chose to associate with first regardless of the moral dictates of society. It so much easier to function this way as I will explain later and with this you are insured against heartbreak, betrayal and other emotional trauma of such. Narcissism is a fundamental trait of LaVey Satanists – practitioners of Satanism as made popular by LaVey – where you indulge in what you see required for your emotional and physical gratification with no regard for others or society inside the confines of law.

Don’t carry the load that will eventually destroy you!

The interaction between the anthropological construct that we call society – which actually manifests as physical entities – and human is one that is purely reciprocal that relies on a give-and-take policy. It is the result of what you do and what others do to you in return that gives rise to a balance. But the sad thing about this metaphorical balance is its tendency to be uncertain and sometimes downright cruel – in other words, it does not work fairly and just to the liking of yours despite your good intentions. You often don’t realize but the truth of the matter is that you do good in return for good, that’s simply the way it is and no one can be innately good without being subjected to good – because it is in the fundamental nature of humans and animals to not be good, animals are jerks to each other – that’s simply how they get their way in their unstructured world.

Continue reading “Why I Chose To Be A Narcissist And You Should Too”


The Bargain of Life

Folks, today I want to document (this is really for my own future reference, or for the future me who will have had time-traveled, whichever comes first) the bargains we make, very sub-consciously toward happiness. Before you judge this article for being one of those lame posts on how to think positive, no, that certainly is not what you’re going to be finding in here.

The bargains (of happiness) are those you perform with little thought. You often see people from war-torn countries with little to no sense of empathy. One might satisfying conclude this person to be a psychopath. But they’re really not, these people have grown a skin, a metaphorical emotional shell so thick all around that nothing, good or bad can permeate through. It’s like the Trump wall, but a bargain with your self over Mexico. This so-called shell as I’d like to call it renders them incapable of showing any sense of appreciation for good, and equally not able to take in good given to them. Continue reading “The Bargain of Life”

I’m Only Human

Happy new year everybody! I hope you had a wonderful start into twenty seventeen 🙂 I personally had a blast – in Chicago! I was at this fairly new event in the city center called Chi-town Rising, hosted this year by Corona Extra. They basically have a huge steel star with lights mounted onto it to draw attention, guided on 2 I-beams running through the face of the Hyatt building by Wacker drive.

I’m back again with more posts to post but in the meantime, I thought I could write this short post just giving myself in to my human side. On my other posts, I use big words and phrases and try to be logically consistent and grammatically sound but today I’m just going to write about things on the very top of my head hoping this would help build better blogger-reader relationships and moreover, to help make blogging on Chronic Overthoughts therapeutic to me, you know the relaxation and all writing brings. I will also not be proof-reading this post or even try to optimize it – like I said earlier, this is purely what’s firing in my head instantaneously as I hit keys.

This New Year’s was a particularly good realization for me. I’ve realized that being me while doing things the way others do to impress humans at the fundamental level often pays off. This is best reflected in college applications – when I first applied to my dream schools, I made the mistake of completely being honest and ‘me’ but as it turns out, you have to play by the game a little bit where it’s required to make some of the trivial stuff up to mark and invest your mental resources into where ‘being yourself’ is appreciated. Lately, I’ve been making an action plan to see what needs to be done to get me a step closer to my goal which lead me to a couple things – playing by the game to a certain extent cut down on much of the stress and burden such activities bring with it. It also ultimately made me feel satisfied when I felt that I wasn’t standing too far out, making my every move predominantly noticeable while simultaneously making sure to not be too blended with everybody else so as to lose your unique identity.

Also, I’ve come to realize that sometimes there’s only a certain extent to which you can control or take authority over things – how, when and the way they take place. There are well-established constraints on everyone – nationality, blah blah blah which can only take you to a certain point beyond which you must just surrender and stop wasting your resources telling yourself that you’d come this far and there’s room to go further – especially if others had already done it.

My advice to my younger self would be to not look at your path to your goal as one that is linear – even if you think you are taking radical paths that have never before been traversed upon you are in-fact, naturally following a linear path. Your hard work or distinct behavior should not account for evidence to confirm your bias. They are merely obstacles placed on the vertical which you just have to navigate or work through no matter what. The obstacle which I’ve encountered is one placed along the horizontal. One might ask what difference does it make – the obstacles placed on the vertical will NOT forbid you from moving ahead towards the goal. These are merely there to slow you down. Maybe you got a low score on a standardized test and wanted to retake it – you’re just being slowed down while still staying on that straight path. Keep in mind that not all have the same obstacles – everyone has a different goal and hence, an action plan which they set for themselves or mutually agreed upon with a third-party. The horizontal obstacle is a roadblock to keep you from progressing further on that path to your goal. While a horizontal obstacle might seem like something that forbids you completely from reaching your goal, it really isn’t.

To deal with an horizontal obstacle, you have to realize that this obstacle was designed to be overcome in the long term. If I was telling myself this a couple months if not, days ago, I would have welcomed it with nothing but skepticism. This should seem like complete gibberish because we are told our short-term actions determine our results in the long-term. While this notion is agreeable in most cases, a horizontal obstacle requires you to think out-of-the-box! You not just explore radical options, but also develop REALISTIC action plans to make them reality, with much emphasis on the word realistic. Someone like me, who suffers from schizophrenia is lead to believe an idealistic and logical plan will certainly work. When it doesn’t – we rebel, loathe our existence and get more aggressive with our pursuits. But that does NOT help because your resources are now invested in something that isn’t helping navigate around this obstacle.

Don’t seek (never!) validation from anyone, even your parents, siblings and close friends. You are your best person to judge. Sometimes, I’ve found myself doing things merely to get validated by others. While this yields fantastic results in the short-term, it doesn’t help challenging obstacles as the one discussed above, obstacle which most people give up to. These obstacles make an average person feel like they’ve hit a dead end, only an intellectual who’s self-invested his/her resources will realize the bigger picture and work on a realistic solution that is statistically bound to work.